Expert reveals 11 tips on how to survive awkward gatherings

As Prince Harry prepares to reunite with the royals at the Coronation, expert reveals 11 tips on how to survive an awkward family gathering

Published: 08:41, 5 May 2023 | Updated: 08:41, 5 May 2023

He took his time deciding, but Prince Harry will be reuniting with his family this weekend at his father's coronation - without Meghan Markle and their children.

Buckingham Palace confirmed the dramatic news in a statement, saying it was 'pleased to confirm' the Duke of Sussex will be at Westminster Abbey on May 6.

However, his attendance may prove somewhat awkward - particularly for his brother Prince William, whom he has repeatedly attacked in bombshell interviews.

Sussex supporters said Harry understood that the Coronation is the biggest day of his father's life and felt it was right to be present, despite their open hostility.

But sources have suggested that other family members - with the possible exception of Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie - have no interest in talking with Harry beyond the most basic of greetings, suggesting the event will be even more awkward than Harry clearly feared.

Mental health nurse Emma Taylor, 32, of London, told FEMAIL her 11 tips with surviving an awkward family gathering

Prince William reportedly has no plans to speak to him, although no one is ruling out the possibility - however unlikely - that there could be a gesture of goodwill for their father.

While this is a unique event, Prince Harry is far from the only person who has had to suffer an awkward family gathering.

In fact, according to experts, group or family events can often be full of stress, tension and difficult moments.

Emma Taylor, 32, of London, is a mental health nurse and clinical lead of WYSA - an AI app for mental wellbeing which helps with negative thoughts and emotions.

She told FEMAIL: 'Prince Harry and other members of the royal family will likely find the King's coronation somewhat difficult, especially as it is in the public eye.

'But we can all struggle with these events.'

However, there are things that can help. Here, she tells FEMAIL how best to cope.

1. You can't control others

Emma explained: 'It's important to be realistic about your expectations of a family event.

You can't control others and they have a right to their feelings.

'For example, Prince Harry can't expect and assume that everyone will have forgiven him for his tell-all memoir; that is unrealistic.

'You need to understand that you can only control and be responsible for yourself, not anyone else around you. Put the focus on you and how you act.'

2. Take a friend

The expert also revealed taking a friend can also provide a kind of buffer at a family event.

She said: 'Prince Harry is going alone to the coronation - which is probably a good thing - but you don't have to fly solo at family events.

'Typical awkward family events might be birthday dinners or Easter lunches.

But you can always bring a friend for moral support.

'People are better behaved when strangers around and families can act worse if they are on their own.

'We are terribly British and don't like airing dirty linen in public.'

3. Try not to take animosity personally

Despite possible tension in the air, Emma said: 'Don't focus too much on any animosity that may be directed at you.'

She continued: 'Instead, remember the bigger picture and focus on what's important. If you have decided to go to an awkward event, you have done this for a reason.

'It may be a wedding, or baby shower.

Basically, it is probably someone else's big day, and your relationship with them is what is actually important. So put them first.'

4. Awkwardness loves small talk

Emma revealed: 'If going to family event full of small talk, it will soon become awkward.

'Try - if you have any control over the situation - to fill an event with games, challenges or competitions.

'If there is no other focus, it can become too easy to dwell on things that aren't going well and possibly revisit old grievances.'

Emma Taylor is a mental health nurse and clinical Lead of WYSA - the world's leading AI app for mental wellbeing

Take a break

The expert explained that if tensions do feel overwhelming, you should try to take a break.

She said: 'You don't have to spend every waking minute at an event. Go outside, get some fresh air and give yourself time to get stress out your system.

'It's important to have a mindful moment where you can gather composure.'

She continued: 'If you find yourself struggling or getting frustrated, do the five senses challenge, which will take about two minutes.

'The aim is to name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three you can touch, two you can smell, and one you can taste. Or you can simply focus on your breath.

'This will help to ground you in the moment.

Equally, it is probably best not to drink too much.'

6. Own your part

Emma revealed: 'It's important to recognise the role you may have played in creating any tense or awkward situations within your family. It can't always be everyone else's fault.

'Consider contacting any relatives with who you have difficulties before the big day to air grievances and get them out in the open.

'Even if you don't resolve the situation and end up agreeing to disagree, this might help in putting aside hostilities for the day in question.'

Be aware of power dynamics

The expert also said it was 'important to be aware' of 'social structures and dynamics' at the event.

She said: 'For instance, if you are a bridesmaid at a wedding, and the other bridesmaids have all known each other since primary school, you cannot start bitching about one of them them as this won't work.

'Equally, you may feel you are a slight outsider so you have to cope with those emotions.

'Equally, families can often have very set power dynamics that can revolve around age.

'You may find an old aunt always treats like you like a child, even if you are in your forties.

'Even though we've long grown up and had families of our own, our parents and siblings can still cast us in the roles we played when young.'

She finished: 'Sometimes you just have to accept this.'

8. Accept group dynamics

Meanwhile Emma continued: 'Equally, be aware that people act differently when they are in a group. More energy is added and there are differing relationships to consider.

'So even if we get along with our family members one-on-one, a mass gathering can present a totally different challenge.

'If a couple is arguing for instance, they may try and draw in someone else.

Again, it is best to be aware of this and simply control what you can control.'

9. Show up as neutral as possible

The expert explained: 'You may feel resentment, anger or anxiety. But it is best to try and keep these emotions under control and stay as neutral as possible.

'If you turn up with these emotions running wild, you will likely have a very difficult time.

'If someone is really stressing you out, talk to a friend or therapist before you go.

Just get it out of your system.'

10. Invest in yourself

Emma also revealed that 'investing in yourself' could be a good strategy to cope with the event.

She said: 'If you are not looking forward to an event, then make sure you invest in yourself.

'For instance, if you are going to a cousin's wedding where everyone will remind you you are the only single one, you need to make sure you feel good about yourself so you are more able to cope.

'You can do this in a number of ways. Buy new shoes, wear a great outfit, wear a face mask the day before...'

Meanwhile she also advised considering travel when thinking about the event - adding: 'If you are travelling there ruminating on how awful it will be, you will probably have a bad time, but if you listen to your power playlist, you will feel better.'

11.

Use your ears

The expert advised: 'Listening is perhaps the most underrated way to improve relationships and to avoid overreacting and causing conflict.

'But it is not looking at someone and nodding your head while you think about a million other things.

'It is about being fully present to what someone is saying and letting them know you have heard.

'Family members are probably the very people on this earth who can most cause us to overreact, so this can be a challenge.

'But if you try and listen and repeat back what you are hearing, this will help reduce stressful situations.

'Equally, if you have had a disagreement with someone, it is good to try and put yourself in their shoes and understand how they might be feeling.

This is about broadening empathy and not just thinking of yourself.'